Why mind-body healing takes so long

The simple fact that you're reading this means you're absolutely NOT alone. 99.9% of us question why recovery is taking longer than expected. And I will hedge a bet as to the probability of it being one or more of the following things getting in your way.

The key healing protocols

Healing, of course, is about following the main mind-body medicine protocols. Those outlined in my Free Recovery Roamap and Foundations Masterclass series in my Mind-Body Mastery Membership. Elements like emotional expression, nervous system regulation, mindset work, self-compassion and exposure to triggers, BUT, each of those elements is equally important and pretty much all of us miss at least one of them or misinterpret/avoid the importance of them.

Recognising your healing barriers

Take a look at the list and let me know if you need help decoding your specific healing barriers. I offer private coaching to folks just like you in this space, and my favourite party trick is identifying exactly what is missing for each one of my clients. (Spoiler alert, it's always the same things, you probably just don't see them!)

1. You blame yourself for the 'delay'

There are so many factors that can come into play in healing, and although some of this list will sound like blame to a sensitive nervous system fluent in self-criticism, all of these are normal and none of these are your fault. Take yourself lovingly out of the blame game and understand that you are human, learning something very new.

2. You compare your recovery to someone else's

That's like looking at someone else's face and expecting yours to look the same. Take inspiration from others, but stop comparing apples to oranges.

3. You're at war with your symptoms

Battles are inherently stress-inducing. Your body is not fighting against you it is trying to keep you alive. Symptoms are messengers, trying to alert you, much like a smoke alarm. Switch the script, over and over.

4. You're not supporting yourself lovingly

Perhaps the biggest barrier of all in my experience. If you treat yourself like shit with constantly high expectations, repeated messages of hatred, shame and belittling, then your nervous system will be stuck in a state of threat.

5. You're expecting things to go badly

Our brains are predictive and perceive danger from all over the place, but one of the most important drivers of a sense of threat is your own thoughts and behaviours. Start upping the volume on hope, best-case scenarios, future self visualisations, good expectations and outcomes.

6. You pressurise yourself a lot

Another biggy, with many different flavours. High expectations, having to get it 100% right or else, olympic level fitness goals, being everything to everyone, perfectionism, people-pleasing, "should"ing, constantly searching for the "why" as in: "why are symptoms even here"?

7. Urgency rules your life

Fight-flight can speed up the everyday mundane and make it into an emergency situation without you even getting involved. Changing this starts with awareness. Slow down intentionally, allow yourself to be bored, ditch the screens, say no more often.

8. You're isolating yourself

Co-regulation is a deep healer, trying to soothe an overwhelmed nervous system on your own is trickier than doing it with others or someone you trust. Can be an online support system, a coach, a therapist or a trusted loved one. We are so hardwired to connection that without it feels like a threat to our survival.

9. You're carrying the emotional load of your entire family

Day to day life, pressure or too much burden from your family of origin or those you share your home with can overload your brain with too much responsibility. Remember to share the burden where you can, or give it back if it's not yours to carry.

10. You're analysing emotions wit your mind, but avoiding feeling them with your body

A huge one for the journalers here. Getting stuck in the details of your story, without feeling the feelings associated, might be stressing you out further. Searching for answers, memories, and exact pieces to heal can be perceived as a threat. Bring up a subject, but try to feel your response to it.

11. You doubt you'll heal or think your situation is unique

Doubt is perceived as a threat by your nervous system, and although it's hard to have 100% conviction in healing until you feel actual shifts in symptoms, it is crucial to dampen the fears and doubts you have around your own story being successful.

12. You're forcing yourself to find the "why?" of everything

Trying to figure out why your symptoms are spiking or somewhat better or different or why they're even there in the first place can be a perpetual merry-go-round with no end in sight. Why? (lol) Because it keeps you in a survival state, in analytical mode, which is overwhelming to an already sensitive, suffering nervous system. It is clever, though, as it works as an efficient distraction from feeling your feelings or attuning to your needs in the moment. A lot of the time our brain and nervous system are working on perceptions, subconscious patterns and guess work, it often gets wrong! Try to let go of the strict detective work, lean into the "it just is"...then... feel, soothe, redirect attention, comfort, reassure, regulate. Your brain is craving your attunement and cues of safety, not additional legwork.

13. You're focusing too much on solving symptoms

Mind-body symptoms are a by-product of an overwhelmed nervous system or a brain stuck in survival mode. Focusing fearfully on fixing symptoms alone will keep you on a perpetual cycle of more threat - more symptoms, more threat - more symptoms. Fear is fuel.