Recovery Journey Roadmap

Emotional self-inquiry and self-awareness

Give your deepest most respressed emotions a voice

This is where a lot of the magic happens and is a really important stage that marks a significant point in the process. However it can feel unconventional, frankly, it's really weird and difficult, especially for those unfamiliar with such approaches or naturally sceptical of these kings of modalities.

While I consider myself open-minded in many respects, my foundation is also rooted in logic, scientific principles, and factual evidence. So when I first understood that the key to my chronic pain recovery involved addressing long-repressed emotions and diligently journaling my unfelt feelings, my initial reaction was one of strong disbelief. I thought, "This simply won't work, and I won't be able to do it," leading to a tremendous amount of resistance.

I learnt later that this resistance is normal, more on that in the what to expect section. I expected that addressing everything would be like looking into a vast and frightening abyss that I would potentially get stuck in, which is a really common assumption.

It was at this juncture that my real understanding of this work commenced. I embarked on a quest for knowledge, in true Type A personality style, I became obsessed with learning and implementing this work. Consuming numerous accounts of successful recoveries, engaging with supportive communities, and uncovering compelling evidence that validated the tangible nature of this work. Connecting with individuals who had navigated similar challenges and achieved healing instilled a profound sense of hope. Despite my initial fear, I had found what felt like a transformative solution. This work didn't just alter the course of my life; it saved it.

I literally became my own medicine. To tell you this was an empowering feeling would be a complete understatement.

Demolishing life-long patterns and writing new ones

I had buried (or at least brushed over or resisted) difficult emotions for my whole life, without even realising it. I wasn’t modelled any emotional intelligence growing up and as time went by, I was probably subconsciously trying to move on from difficulty very quickly, so that challenging emotions wouldn't have a chance to hurt as much.

But now, when I look back, I did it ALL THE TIME.

What do you do when something happens that’s too hard to face? Bury it, right? Distract yourself, think positively, be outwardly happy, the life of the party, make stupid decisions, put up with hurtful crap, drink loads, right? Haha yes, but also NO.

This cycle that I practised throughout my life, of not really addressing difficult situations or letting my feelings really be heard or dealt with, was literally rotting me from the inside. I’m sure you can relate somewhat if you’ve read this far!

As adults in society, it’s literally burned into us that we must behave in a certain way and these behaviours are taught to us from an early age. Imagine for a moment an upset toddler with hurt feelings. They don’t turn a blind eye and bury their response do they? They kick and scream and throw tantrums and cry uncontrollably until they get it out! But we are taught that being angry or upset isn't good, we must not cry or scream or fight our way through feelings. Even more so as adults. Why is pretending that everything is OK the norm now? It's actually engrained and enforced into us!

We can also repress when we are not seen and heard effectively by our caregivers, if we communicate our hurt and it isn't met with compassion and understanding, then we are left alone with our hurt, and the same thing happens, we stop expressing and start repressing.

Repression creates massive disruption and dysregulation in the nervous system, kind of like trying to swallow the energy of a caged animal, you can only hold it in for so long before it starts to get ugly.

Connecting to your emotional world

There are many ways to connect to your feelings or feel the emotions you’ve hidden. Some decide to go to therapy at this point and really figure out what’s going on with the help of a professional. Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, Parts Work or Internal Family Systems (IFS) are a few of my favourite modalities for this kind of deeper work as they combine the mind and the body in their approaches.

The basic idea is just to fully feel your emotions. Feel them physically/somatically in your body. Do not overthink them, not fix them or get lost in the story that created them, don't even worry about releasing them or why you are even feeling them...JUST FULLY FEEL THEM. Open the door to them, invite them in and sit with them. It's really easy to overthink all of this and expect that you now have to face all your demons and fix every fight you’ve ever had but you don't. Just feel your emotions, don't try to THINK of what you're feeling and give any logic to it...

To begin, consider these questions:

What areas of your life are currently causing you distress/unhappiness?
How do these circumstances make you feel?
Identify the specific emotions that arise – grief, shame, helplessness, anger, vulnerability, embarrassment, disappointment, frustration, fear, or perhaps others.
Reflect on any concurrent life events or underlying stressors.
Have you experienced similar feelings at earlier points in your life, particularly during childhood or adolescence?
What traits or behaviours get in your way in your adult life?

Check out my Journal Prompts for emotional release here, or my detailed page highlighting my favourite topics and theme ideas for self-reflection practice here.

What would you change if you could? What would you honestly feel if you allowed yourself to feel without fear? If there was no consequence of having that feeling, what would it be?

It's important to not judge yourself for feeling resisted emotions, it might feel weird to address them if you've hidden them for so long. Just remember that your brain has kept them from you in order to protect you, but they are meant to be experienced. Embrace them, good or bad, they're safe. And either way, the feeling passes pretty quickly.

A pivotal moment in my life for sure. JournalSpeak a type of expressive writing therapy, taught and led by Psychotherapist Nicole Sachs LCSW and backed by thousands of others like me, practising and healing in an amazing online support group.

I’ve created a separate section dedicated to JournalSpeak practice because of its importance and the number of resources associated with it. It's the best solution that I’ve found that worked for me, it totally changed my perception of myself through self-reflection and that completely turned my life around...and continues to do so.

Nicole has lots of helpful content to support your recovery, an amazing weekly Podcast, IG TV and Instagram live Q & A sessions, Youtube videos, an amazing book, an online course plus virtual and in-person recovery retreats. You can either go straight to the JournalSpeak section now to find out more details or continue reading on to the next step below.

I have a 12-part masterclass series called Emotional Embodiment that guides you though this work if you need more help navigating this. It can be found in the Mind-Body Mastery Membership platform in the self-inquiry section.

Following your self-inquiry sessions, it's natural for emotions to be heightened and linger, potentially with intensity depending on your writing experience. Therefore, the next section is crucial – please do not skip it!

Feel your emotions physically

Journaling and EMDR taught me how to feel emotions in my body, rather than think them in my head, which was critical to releasing the tense survival energy that the repressed emotion cause. Almost like a download for the nervous system, feeling our emotions physically is an important step that allows the pent-up energy of all the blocked feelings to flow freely in our bodies.

It helps to sit with emotions as and when they happen, to teach yourself and practice what it feels like to feel them whenever they're triggered. Feeling pissed off at someone? Notice what happens to your body and really allow it to be there with you without running away or numbing.

Find out how to practice this here - How to feel your feelings and why it matters in TMS recovery. Or check out my 12-part Emotional Embodiment series within my Membership for extra help with this!

Where to next?

Soothing yourself is important and can change your relationship with your symptoms and allow you to regulate in times of stress and difficulty.

Click here to continue to the next section (Soothe and regulate your nervous system)