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https://mytmsjourney.com/resources/how-to-release-the-fear-of-chronic-pain-and-symptom-relapse/
Feeling unsafe or threatened by your symptoms can be one of the main reasons why your symptoms show up or stick around.
Some people's symptoms turn chronic literally because of the fear associated with them. Some people's symptoms appear because they fear getting them. Health anxiety is rife in this community, it's a big part of why we experience so much fear around symptoms and understandably so.
When our brain is preoccupied with sensations in the body and our nervous system feels threatened, no matter what the source of that threat, your body is going to let you know about it. Fear felt in the body is like an alarm bell that won't shut off until the emergency is over. It's our job to remove that emergency alarm by facing our fear with reassurance, knowledge, understanding and compassion.
Not only are flare-ups normal, but expected and (annoyingly) in many ways necessary. I know this sounds ridiculous when your suffering is excruciating, but hear me out, the more we flare, the more opportunity we have to retrain the brain out of chronic pain for good. It would be great if it never happened and we were all cured instantly, but brain retraining isn't a one-time thing. We need to fully understand that the brain takes time and repetition to lay down new neuropathways, and we as humans need consistency and repetition to believe in this approach and keep practising the tools we have learned to overcome this.
Imagine trying to get a puppy to pee outside, and only showing them where to do that once. There's no way their brain would remember and behave perfectly forever. You are learning brand new stuff here, stuff that feels awful and somehow wrong to the brain and nervous system as it is so new, particularly if you already have health anxiety!
Even if your symptoms worsen, even if they move or change, even if you feel like you're on fire. Expect it and try not to freak out when it happens. Repeat, repeat, repeat...
Understanding that this is just mind-body language at play (even when it's excruciating) will help shift your mindset from one of fear to one of compassion and surrender. It takes time and repetition (good job flare-ups are repetitive) to practice reminding yourself over and over that this is temporary and benign and nothing to worry about.
Yes it's awful, not only physically, but the psychological effects that long-term suffering has on us can be just as bad as the physical symptoms, if not worse, so firstly honour that. This is not easy, but you can and will do it, it just takes consistency and repetition - like learning a new language, which is literally what you're doing.
Knowledge is your best friend on your healing journey and the backbone to making a full recovery. Fully understanding and believing in the mind-body medicine approach and believing that the nervous system is in charge of why most chronic symptoms exist in this space is critical to demolishing doubt and fear over the symptoms themselves.
Nervous system dysregulation can be caused by various factors such as trauma, prolonged emotional distress, attachment injury, hypervigilance and ongoing unaddressed stress. However, chronic symptoms can exist simply because we hyperfocus on them. For example, we can have an injury and be so focused on that pain area that the fear around it keeps the pain signals firing and keeps us stuck in a fear-pain cycle.
Once you believe, and have faith in the mind-body approach, fear has nowhere to go as you fully understand that there is in fact nothing to be afraid of.
Doubt in this diagnosis and approach can also be read by the nervous system as a kind of fear, as it's so much easier to believe that something is seriously wrong or damaged.
Questions to ask yourself: Do you doubt that my symptoms are mind-body? Do I lack understanding of what is going on in my nervous system? This is a common sticking point for many people, and often the biggest hurdle to overcome. My best advice is to do lots of your own research, read the expert books and be fully informed on the brain science behind TMS. Get checked out for anything sinister with your medical centre, and if you're still unsure consider consulting with a mind-body practitioner if you need extra help with confirming a mind-body diagnosis.
The Tell Me About Your Pain podcast (and this specific episode) is great too - how to diagnose your pain like a pain specialist hosted by chronic pain experts Alan Gordon LCSW accompanied by Dr Howard Schubiner.
Alan Gordon LCSW's book - The Way Out is a brilliant resource on this subject. As is the concept of pain reprocessing therapy that he teaches.
Funnily enough, accepting your fear is a big part of overcoming it. Accepting exactly how you feel about anything and everything is massively freeing and soothing to the nervous system - as it means that the fight is coming to an end. The fear has nowhere to go once you accept it as it is. Of course you fear it, how could you not? It feels awful! But unfortunately, it's our job to switch the script on how we address our symptoms - from fear and fight to patience and kindness. Over and over and over again.
The good news is, once you get the hang of this new approach, it becomes really easy to do any time a setback happens. Honestly, it's really just a matter of time and consistency - showing up with a loving comforting supportive voice towards that part of yourself that is fearful. Every time you feel afraid of what's happening, imagine soothing a child that's afraid, or a dear friend. Your symptoms need your LOVE, not FEAR. Switching your approach in this way can be transformational on its own. Write yourself letters, keep an evidence diary of better days, reach out for support, read success stories, or reach out to a coach for dedicated help.
We can become so fearful of movement (or doing specific things that we feel will trigger or flare our symptoms). So gradual gentle exposure to these things is key to not overwhelming the nervous system and allowing the brain to learn.
Trauma and stress are experienced in the body, whether we're dealing with fight or flight or freeze response, the experience is physical and can keep us feeling trapped in frantic energy or completely stuck. Engaging in activities that we enjoy - without pressurising ourselves - actually soothes our nervous system and allows the body to feel safe.
A simple walk in nature, noticing your surroundings and taking your time to breathe and go slowly is a brilliant example of how to do this for free, anywhere in the world really. Trauma can really disconnect us from ourselves, finding ways to make that reconnection in a way that works for you will really help. And not from a forceful "you have to do this or you will never recover" place either, the tone that we use to go into these practices is really important. Check out my gentle yoga offerings if you want some help with this part of your recovery, this is exactly why I created it. Or just stick on some of your favourite music and let your body sway along to it...see what happens and do it regularly!
Triggering symptoms with exercise is really normal too, the brain might not feel completely safe doing it, and even though the body isn't damaged, the pain and tension we can feel is very very real, so exerting the body can hurt.
Approach your healing from a gentle place of DEEP self-care and loving attention because you deserve to be looked after in this way, and watch how things change.
Questions to ask yourself: How do I like to connect to and move my body? How can I show myself extra care today? How can I show up for myself in a loving way?
Treating yourself with patience, love, understanding, care, attention, comforting your inner child, reparenting yourself, and working on yourself consistently and compassionately are quite possibly the most important parts of this whole journey. Compassion can transform fear.
Learning to address your inner critic, reduce perfectionistic high-stakes self-pressure, and come to a place of deep acceptance for yourself exactly how you really help to adjust that lens of fear here too.
Self-pressure is an enormous factor in fuelling chronic symptoms, so learning to let go of all the DOING and embrace the BEING a little each day will serve to soothe your nervous system without you having to do anything at all.
Keep reminding yourself that you are OK, you're not broken, this is a perfectly normal expression of the human experience. There is nothing to fear, this is not forever. Believe it, and repeat it over and over. Read success stories, keep an evidence journal of your better days, support yourself and keep in touch with others that will support you also.
Questions to ask yourself: Where am I pressurising myself? Where do I need the most support with my fear? How can I reassure myself that I'm actually OK?
Fear has certain anxiety accelerating elements that our sympathetic nervous system feeds off. Searching for answers as to why this happened and how to fix it (although completely understandable) will only really serve to keep your hypervigilance on high alert. With that said, it is helpful to have a plan in place for when you do experience flare-ups or relapses. Read on...
Whenever I experienced setbacks, and they happened A LOT, knowing that I had a plan really helped to reduce my fear of it happening. Firstly, I would remind myself that I was safe and well and be EXTRA kind to myself. Switch frustration to love, straight away. Get in bed, raise my legs, open my arms wide and listen to my favourite meditation, a few times in a row if necessary. Having a go-to super soothing place to rest, wherever you feel safest will really help lessen the symptoms and fear. Pull back on some of your commitments if you can, and remove any additional stress. Communicating your situation with your peers, workplace and family can really help too, receiving support and feeling comforted can really help although not essential.
The more we practice softness and acceptance in the face of setbacks, the less they will happen and the shorter they will be.
Relapses don't have to last ages, sometimes they can come and go like the flick of a switch. It all depends on how we approach them.
Your body is working absolutely perfectly, just as it is built to do. Understand that this is just your body's way of talking to you (albeit shouting erratically!) the way you respond to that message is everything.
Letting go of a physical approach to fixing your symptoms is important here too. Manual therapies or physical fixes can exacerbate flaring symptoms. Approaching this through a lens of 'fixing' tells the brain there's something we feel threatened by that needs fixing and usually ends up making things worse by reinforcing the message to the brain that you are not OK.
Every human feels things in their bodies as a result of emotional triggers. They are totally unavoidable I'm afraid. The not so secret sauce for us is the way we approach the symptoms as and when they show up, to stop them from becoming chronic. This took me a while to learn and embed in my brain long-term, every symptom that showed up I thought was terminal. But eventually, your brain will catch on, you will start to see proof that you're improving (even if you're flaring, that shows progress!) and fear will naturally subside as you move through this work.
It's also really important to understand that in times of high stress and emotion, our bodies are going to shout whether we like it or not, being OK with that is critical for long-term recovery.
I hope this helps somewhat! Check out my other article on what to expect during TMS recovery for more insight. And if you're new here check out my Recovery Journey Roadmap and let's connect on social media, I'm on Facebook or Instagram and post daily insight and inspiration over there.
Five unique guided meditations created specifically for chronic recovery and for folks just like you, each tailored to a specific healing theme (inner child healing, somatic tracking, feeling emotions physically, daily affirmations and self-compassion. Find out more about my bundle here.
"Come Home to Yourself - mind-body evening rituals" mini-course includes various tools to help you embody your feelings and overcome the daily resistance by making healing work inviting and comforting. It includes evening journal prompts and writing exercises, new TMS themed somatic meditations, affirmations, restorative yoga, breathwork and much more, created to help you through your own recovery just like I did. Find out more about my course.
If you're interested in learning more about reducing fear of movement and improving self-compassion, check out my Yoga School or Online Mini-Course.
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