How to befriend your mind-body symptoms and why it's important in healing

Befriend my symptoms? You must be mad

The more I work in this field the more I realise just how much we struggle with this, literally 100% of folks I coach and communicate with in this space come up against this roadblock so I figured it was a much needed piece to give space to here within my healing resources.

Although fear is absolutely normal and expected, if you can switch your mindset from fearing them to caring for them with empathy and understanding, the faster you will change the trajectory of your healing.

The more we fear our symptoms, the more that "autopilot" behaviour that happens subconsciously and we can get kind of stuck in that cycle. If that is true for you, then you're NOT alone. This is an unavoidable step in healing chronic symptoms. Why? Becuase our nervous systems are wired to detect threat! Pain and discomfort are distressing, its natural to feel this way.

BUT - we teach ourselves a different narrative. We can see our symptoms for what they are - not dangerous, not life-threatening, not at war against us or a curse in any way - and not only change the fear-symptom cycle but also dramatically reduce the hypervigilance that goes along with it.

Hypervigilance is also 100% normal and a very common trauma response.

A shift in perspective from fear to love

When we experience chronic pain or other stress-related symptoms, it's common to view them as adversaries that disrupt our lives, how could you not? We often enter into a battle with our symptoms, trying to suppress, ignore, or eliminate them. This adversarial relationship can create a cycle of tension and fear that exacerbates the symptoms we're trying to escape.

However, there's an alternative approach that can lead to profound healing: befriending your symptoms. This approach is rooted in the understanding that the mind and body are deeply interconnected and that our physical symptoms are often manifestations of unresolved emotional tension. 

Befriending your symptoms means shifting from a mindset of combativeness to one of compassion. It involves recognising that your symptoms have a purpose—they are signals from your subconscious mind that something is out of balance. They are not the enemy, but rather a part of you that is asking to be heard and understood.

The philosophy behind befriending your symptoms

The philosophy of befriending your symptoms is grounded in the belief that our bodies are inherently wise. Our symptoms are a language through which our body communicates with us. Just as a smoke alarm signals a potential fire, our symptoms alert us to areas within ourselves that need attention. By listening to these signals with an open heart, we can begin to unravel the emotional knots that may be contributing to our physical discomfort.

This approach is not about finding a quick fix or a superficial solution. It's about embarking on a journey of self-discovery, where we learn to gently explore the depths of our emotional landscape. It's about cultivating a nurturing inner dialogue that honors our experiences and emotions, rather than dismissing or invalidating them.

The healing power of compassion

Compassion is a powerful healing force, the most powerful of all in my view. When we meet our symptoms with compassion, we create a safe space for healing to occur. We allow ourselves to feel our emotions fully, to understand their origins, and to process them healthily. This compassionate approach can lead to a reduction in the intensity and frequency of symptoms, as we address the underlying emotional causes.

By befriending our symptoms, we also cultivate a more loving relationship with ourselves. We learn to treat ourselves with the same kindness and care that we would offer to a dear friend in distress. This self-love is a critical component of the healing process, as it encourages a nurturing rather than punitive approach to our well-being.

Of course, like anything in this self-healing space, befriending your symptoms requires patience, practice, and a willingness to engage with yourself in a new and more loving way. By embracing this approach, you can create a foundation for long-term health and well-being (both mental and physical).

If it feels impossible to befriend your symptoms then creating this shift is likely where you will feel big results.

How to befriend your chronic symptoms

1. Acknowledge the sensations AND your feelings: Bring awareness to any fear or frustration you have regarding your symptoms. It's natural to feel this way, make space for your emotions surrounding them and show yourself grace here, this is hard work.

2. Visualise your inner child: Interrupt your pattern of fixation on symptoms by imaginging them as your inner child, a younger version of you who is desperately seeking care and attention. Choose an image of yourself as a child to help make this visualisation more vivid (keeping a photo on your phone wallpaper is a profound exercise to help with this).

3. Approach with empathy: Extend the same compassion to this inner child as you would to any child who is in distress. Imagine embracing this part of you with kindness and understanding.

4. Offer comfort: Speak to your symptoms (or your inner child) in a soothing tone. Offer words of comfort and reassurance that you are listening and that you care.

5. Practice acceptance: Thank your symptoms for what they are trying to communicate. This may seem ridiculous and counterintuitive, but I promise you, it can be a powerful step in changing your relationship with your symptoms.

6. Redirect your mindset: Consider moving from a place of fear to one of curiosity. Ask yourself what might be emotionally unresolved or what your body is trying to tell you through these symptoms. What stressors are happening? How am I responding currently to perhaps something that happened in the past or something that I'm finding overwhelming or triggering?

7. Cultivate neutral indifference: Over time, this compassionate approach to symptoms will become a more neutral sense of indifference. This doesn't mean ignoring them, but rather not assigning them any more power than necessary.

8. Rinse and repeat: This process takes time and repetition. It may not feel natural at first, but with practice, it can become a transformative tool in your healing journey.

9. Be patient and kind to yourself: Remember, your recovery space will thrive when supported and encouraged with love and warmth. Be patient with yourself as you practice this new approach.

10. Seek support if needed: If you find it challenging to befriend your symptoms on your own, consider reaching out for support. My Foundations of Mind-Body Healing course is ideal for this kind of learning and can provide guidance and encouragement. I also offer private coaching if that is something you think would be beneficial to you.

Healing chronic symptoms through the mind-body connection

For more on healing using the mind-body connection read my free Recovery Journey Roadmap - it’s full of useful tips and tools like this to help you heal for free, also check out my what to expect page for further supportive tips and encouragement.

If you're new to my website, check out my other free resources or the many other ways we can work together - all the ways I can help you are listed here. Here are the direct links to my yoga for mind-body recovery school and my online courses.

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